With What Meaning

As any intellectual individual who has have ever pondered the meaning of life will tell you there are times when it all seems meaningless. Even the wisest intellectual to ever live- Solomon the King of Israel (yes that Solomom) spent years of his life attempting to derive meaning from his existence. Finding that it is “Vanity of vanities. All is vanity.” Ecc. (1:2) And a “striving after the wind” Ecc. (1:14) Now I don’t claim to be as wise as Solomon, a ludicrous idea, however upon my own reflective reasoning I find myself in an equally morbid state of mind as that to which I logically attribute to the former scholar. That state of mind being one that causes me to look around at everything I see and wonder… Why? Why bother with it all? I get up, go to work, go to school, go to sleep, and do it all over again. I find trivial amusements to occupy the minutia of freetime that remains to me after cramming every possible second of existence with activities to distract my attention from the eternal mundanity that is life. But in moments such as this where I find myself in a philosophical and contemplative sort of mind I can’t help but question the reasons. If that is all there is to it. If all there is to existence is simply existence what is the point of existing? Why do we frown upon suicide, and denounce hatred and murders? Why don’t we just fold our hands and cry over the horrible position we find ourselves in? Where to live is life for the sake of life and to die is nothing more or less than simply dying? Why should anyone care about anything if there is no meaning to anything anyway

As these thoughts ebb through the recesses of my consciousness I hope my jotting them down will strike a chord in your own mind and get you to ponder as well. I won’t attempt to persuade you of where I fall in this for I believe we are discussing matters if truth. And truth cares not for persuasion but stands upon its own and absolute. It is noteworthy however to observe the fact that I still continue to write this proves that I believe there to be meaning in what I write. But if there is meaning in something as trivial as this blog post then isn’t it safe to say that there is meaning in life? If so what is that meaning?

Think deeply friends for our existence dwells here and eternity hangs in the balance.

Advertisements

At Last

It happened without fanfare

No music drifted through the air

I realized without remark

Close on the heels of a weary heart

With bitterness fading away

I thought that I would be okay

Until what moved and took its place

Was the result of battles waged

Which till this moment I had won

Or at the least had held my own

But without crying, without tears

Without love, or borrowed fears

The one who always stood so strong

At last fell before the throng.

And final cognizant reflections 

Realize climactic sentences

Do not preceded the paeons cry

But merely follow his sad life

And I that troubled paeon be

For life at last has broken me.

My Own Mind

These walls all around me
Are the walls that I built
Demons that surround me
Are phantoms of guilt

This life that I hide from
Is my life on full tilt
Rushing to daggers
Plunging up to the hilt

This desert a wasteland
No honey nor milk
This wasteland’s my thoughts
all from the same ilk

For none of my walls
(These walls that I’ve built)
Will crumble or fall
-For phantoms of guilt

Simply change their colors
Their form never wilts
And as I grow older
I’m buried in guilt.

Existence

Lightning and thunder held back by the clouds
freezing rain crashing like shots to the ground
A fire rages as humanity’s found
Their future is fleeing quicker than the sound.

Pressed into crevices none could sustain
life is examined for fruit without aim
tortured and wasted their livelihood maimed
by trials of science whose virtue’s unstained.

But out in the wild a figure whose name
goes without saying exists all the same.
Living in solitude shielding the flame
that has for ages been guarding the way.

Except that way’s saved for all but the proud
and those who are humbled, hands tied to the plow
stumble upon it then gratefully bow
before being lifted and granted a crown.

Questions of wonder compel men to explore
the nature of marvels exist in the world
but soon minute details boasting open doors
obscuring answers crush hearts to the floor.

Then lightning and thunder held back by the clouds
break from their shackles and shatter the ground.
The soul of the mortal shutters at the sound
as the weight of existence at last crashes down.

Once…

I once had a song that I loved to sing

I once had a story that was compelling

I used to amuse myself with my rhymes

But the laughter is gone from my rhythmic lines

I once dreamed up futures of glorious deeds

I once held true love in the highest esteem

Before I am gone I’ll look back on my deeds

And wonder if any will ever miss me

More likely than not I will just fade away

Forgotten as soon as I’m laid in the grave.

Justice

As the mist on the mirror slowly dissipates
The face that’s revealed is the one I most hate
So smash the reflections swift to the ground
Let this whole building come tumbling down
Then pull out a match and kindle a fire
Burn what remains let the flames climb higher
But leave me inside to share in its fate
So no one sees further the one I most hate.

This Bitter War

Hold fast and faint not- ever claim

The truth of those who walk by faith.

When hope has turned to something more

This life won’t hold me as before

Reclaim that veil which has been draped

Upon these eyes which walk by faith

And purify what still remains

Before their cause is lost and vain.

The bane of my existence lies

In dreams that curse with piercing eyes

But lift the light to guide the way

To all those lives who walk by faith

And I will see the vanity

Of dreams that shine but broken be.

Shattered, broken, gleaming light

Lifting dawn and breaking night!

To those recipients in line

Who walk by faith and not by sight

Hold fast, and yet hold faster till

The wrath of fury’s cup is filled!

Take heart, lift up those feeble hands

Shout out your voice to this dry land!

Remember why you are the called

Do not rebel lest then you fall!

Withdraw your gaze from Satan’s game

Lift up and fight! Fight in God’s name!

Vengeance! Vengeance! For those lost!

Those who’ll pay the final cost!

Bloodied from a billion blows

But sullied not by mortal foes!

Cry havoc! Havoc our bleeding cry

Twisted are truths we can’t deny!

Oh you who wander without aim

Join our cause and fight this plague

Which steals inside the souls of men

And buries them through endless  sin.

Oh you who care not for your life

Look to the cross and then ask why!

Life and love were sacrificed

And yet you wish to take your life.

Mortal man and demon same

Bow the knee and yield in shame

Before the might of who remains

after the earth’s engulfed in flames.

Awaken me from this dark night

Take my hand and lead my flight

Towards that peaceful distant shore

Where those who’ve battled long before

Now sit in rest and watch over

The rest who must still fight this war-

But not before I’ve filled my days

As one who fights and lives by faith.