I Loved You

I smiled oh so sweetly as you tried to lead me on

You said that it was over ‘tween you and that “awful one”

I gave you such a sincere nod you never caught the glint

Behind my eyes that betrayed just how much to me you meant.

– – – – –

But I knew even as you spoke that it was over now

And I lied as I told you that “sometime” I’d be around.

I’m far too good at moving past my broken hearts and dreams.

I’m far too careful with my thoughts to strip away the scene

– – – – –

And let you witness how inside these masquerading games

Is a boy who loved a girl but would not tempt the fates.

It’s tragic, in my subtlety, you’ll never know I cared

I’ll hide my feelings deep inside a world built on despair

– – – – –

But cloaked, ubiquitously, smiles hide all of my pain

You’d think I owned the world instead of falling every day.

It hurts to think that I had loved a woman such as you

Only to have you turn away and prove what I once knew;

– – – – –

I’m destined to live life alone I’ll move on once again

For I’m too good at crushing feelings that have all but fled.

When strangest fires kindle ‘neath a hearth in broken glow–

There truly is no verity in seeds unwitting sowed.

– – – – –

Alas, though, I have wasted thoughts in ranks again today

For you’ll not read this, you’ll not care, you do not know my name

Is hid behind a cloak of meaning lost in words displayed

Telling you “I’ll weep for you” when you just turn away.

– – – – –

But one last effort I’ll admit gives place to my own fears

Listen to this heart that yearns to keep you closer here.

Ah, but silence is the only reply to my ears

And I will live in solitude; comforted by my tears.

– – – – –

R.A

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Musings Past, Musings Sure

I’ll try to state this simple, clear
Try to pull away from fears
Try to help you see the scars
Try to reveal broken hearts

I’ll try once more to let you see
Try to rip these cords binding
Try to help you understand
That the souls of lesser men

Break upon the notion of the love they never shared
Traced upon the backs of those without who seldom dare
Revealing what was lost before to time’s harshest embrace
Endearing to those visible but lost without a trace.

See what musings on display reveal of hearts in need
Swept away as clouds and storms revel in past decrees
Heavy souls return again to those unbeaten strains
Forsaken places bent upon the glory of lost days.

Apologies yet in queue for thoughts masked once again
Unveiled within an intellect that spins webs of disdain
Concerning repercussions, honesty makes haste once more
Thoughtless moments grant a view to parts unseen before.

Thus musings of my mind concluded turn back to your gaze–
Seeking to discern the mind of him so unengaged
Perchance one day the mysteries so often held will yield
Giving place to passion tendered in a cloistered shell

But still as words long winded have escaped upon the page
The concept of their clarity remains a mystery.
So beg of scholars, ask the sage, demand an answer stored
Within the halls of histories and tenants of the void.

Unspoken thoughts will yet retain their firm provoking air
But mellowed by those still born passions fervently declared
Regardless as the closing of my cognition appears
Forgive the one who hides behind the words unwritten here.

Come Home

The man at the counter stoic still
Few words spoken, fewer still
His heart heavy by stinging scars
Carved into his weary heart

The mass around him filled with glee
Laugh and dance so merrily
But in his world of cold disdain
None will ask from whence he came

So one last sip and out the door
Disappear at last before
They recognize he’s so alone
For no one cares if he comes home.

My Reality

I see the lights on up ahead
That seem to offer hope instead
Of all the tragedies I’ve known
Those compelling me to roam

Those lights reveal a brighter life
Shedding their warmth throughout the night
Offering a chance to dream
If only I could still believe

But somehow on this dreary road
I won’t be saved- they don’t follow
And as I watch them fade away-
I wake to yet another day

Lonely Heart

I know the reason that you came
But for that reason you won’t stay
For all the times you’ve left alone
Have made you think that’s how it goes.

You have a drink or maybe two
Then try not to get too confused-
“What is wrong with me?” You ask
“That no one can ever see past
The tears dancing behind my eyes?”
Scars revealing what’s inside.

No matter you won’t have to say
For once again you’ve gone your way
And of those reasons that you came
None of them will make you stay.

The Keeper

“Before this last time that I leave
take I beg of you this key.
For it alone can free my heart
which I have kept quite set apart
within a stronghold so secure
might and force cannot procure.

Take and hold it here for me
until someone who is worthy
should venture in to claim its prize
releasing then this heart of mine.”
With that she placed that silver key
into the hand of Him unseen.