Lost Happiness

As moonlight casts its glow around
and shadows dance upon the ground
I walk upon this forlorn trail
of ancient and abandoned fairs
remnants of a wonder lost
when children’s eyes at last are washed
and cleansed from youthful ignorance
as time steals away innocence.
While joy which once so prominent
has fled apace to their lament
and tear-stained cheeks mellow the glow
of love once preciously unknown.

The carousel now creaks and sighs
upon its rusted hinge of life
remembering the former days
when children came and laughed and played.

Dejected from this mournful sight
I seek to turn away my eyes
But glancing in the mirror I
see what was not realized.
This fair once so ebullient
is nothing more than my lament
over the life I’d left behind
when ’twas life’s meaning I denied.

So out again upon the trail
I walk from that so doleful fair
whose mere exuberance at life
now’s withered from its mournful plight.

The clouds have seemed to block the moon
and shadows hold a deeper gloom
the wind has started creeping in
in forms of dark and desperate men,
while shivering I onward press
in search of that lost happiness.


Yet Another… Midnight Musing

It’s an odd state of mind within which I find myself tonight. As I lay supine on my bed reflecting upon the days transpirations while thoughts of life, love, meaning and purpose deftly tug and recede from my consciousness. Thus once again, from this idle mind’s ramblings over mountainous or tranquil expanses of thought, I invite you dear reader to my humble place of thoughtful midnight musings… Wherever this adventure may take us, I hope you enjoy.

~ E.L ~

For a seed of wonder and of doubt all at once has overgrown

And sudden I’m convinced to ponder all I’ve ever known.

What some might label childish or imbecility

Somehow has struck a chord within I find astonishing.

Have somehow mysteries yet spurned regained their conquered ground?

Have I relapsed so far apace that love will bring me down?

Thoughts of this light serve no purpose to embattled souls

As warriors we stand aloof from high and lofty goals.

Give place to innocence and meek, stand fast against the strain

Of evil seeking entrance in to plunder and to maim.

But ever guard that most precious entity of will

And soul and mind entwined in one- emotions there as well

But now at last witness the change as this one form appears

How have you fared so long yet still you cower back in fear?

Words once spoken out in haste and then so thoughtlessly

Now seem insignificant and beg higher degrees

But all intelligence combined of scholars or of sage

Would yet lack evidence enough for my fears to assuage

Enough of midnight ponderings lest words long winded be

Naught but evidence of life that still exists in me.

Goodnight to those who’ve tarried long and suffered through this page

Of thoughtful musings from a mind whose heart’s become engaged

To mysteries unspeakable before a certain day

When I crashed into one who seems at last to know my name


Come Home

The man at the counter stoic still
Few words spoken, fewer still
His heart heavy by stinging scars
Carved into his weary heart

The mass around him filled with glee
Laugh and dance so merrily
But in his world of cold disdain
None will ask from whence he came

So one last sip and out the door
Disappear at last before
They recognize he’s so alone
For no one cares if he comes home.


Ah fearful vengeance hasting toward this mortal soul
thrusting heinous worries forward as if silent deadly swords
except me from, I ask of thee, that long awaited fate
deny me not my last request before it is too late.

Those nobles’ visage on display in purple splendor be
naught but remnants of the life once evidenced in me
alas though as a fearful terror of night brought into day
they in becoming what I’ve not now mock me in disdain

So cast me out upon the seas of dark and deadly waves
leave my soul to wander lest I plague those who’ll remain
Scorn my presence from afar, denounce me while I roam
Forms and figures once called friends set watch over your homes

This last identity I find remorsefully inside
for twas the one which I had fought until it snared my life
I’d ask for your forgiveness as the storms come rolling in
but diseases from such noxious traits deserve the end their given

So as this guilty sinner spreads his thoughts upon the seas
I know that there is nothing more that men can do for me.
Fearful vengeance swift and true make haste to find your mark
allow me to abide no more with black and calloused heart.

Vindicate the world which has so long held scorn for me
and curse me with the plagues which fester in visceral fury
Curse the heart which curses God and punish what remains
for life’s existence bodes eternal evidence of shame.

And as these words escape my soul in ranks upon the page
I now attempt to stay their flow lest secrets held escape
diligent reader ascertain the fiction and the prose
And through the light of truth discern what iron pen composed

End this abhorred nightmare bliss of eloquence disclosed.

Dyathon’s Peace

I don’t usually include YouTube videos within my work. However this poem was inspired by the following image set as the backdrop to this video. So hit play and read on as you listen.


~Dyathon’s Peace~

With stifled cries and bloodied hands
the beast at last fell to the sand.
Tortured by a dozen spears
thrust into him at the cheers
and cries of glee by those around
who clapped their hands hearing the sound
of agony from his soul stripped
as life escaped through twisted lips.
His visage of a demon true
caused the fear and spelled his doom
and cast to the arena he
was crushed without a way to flee
his life spread out upon the sand
at the hands of vicious men.
Until a maiden’s form appeared
while calming all she moved so near
and knelt she touched the dying head
as tears fell through her trembling hands
while eyes of anguished love gazed down
upon the beast splaying the ground.
“Shalara kae, shalara nhee.*
Peace I ask be upon thee.”

And as the wounded’s breathing slowed
and dying eyes at last were closed
the maiden standing turned her gaze
upon the crowd who now amazed
reflected on the deed they’d done…
In murdering a mother’s son.

*One day I may explain this language… – E.L

With What Meaning

As any intellectual individual who has have ever pondered the meaning of life will tell you there are times when it all seems meaningless. Even the wisest intellectual to ever live- Solomon the King of Israel (yes that Solomom) spent years of his life attempting to derive meaning from his existence. Finding that it is “Vanity of vanities. All is vanity.” Ecc. (1:2) And a “striving after the wind” Ecc. (1:14) Now I don’t claim to be as wise as Solomon, a ludicrous idea, however upon my own reflective reasoning I find myself in an equally morbid state of mind as that to which I logically attribute to the former scholar. That state of mind being one that causes me to look around at everything I see and wonder… Why? Why bother with it all? I get up, go to work, go to school, go to sleep, and do it all over again. I find trivial amusements to occupy the minutia of freetime that remains to me after cramming every possible second of existence with activities to distract my attention from the eternal mundanity that is life. But in moments such as this where I find myself in a philosophical and contemplative sort of mind I can’t help but question the reasons. If that is all there is to it. If all there is to existence is simply existence what is the point of existing? Why do we frown upon suicide, and denounce hatred and murders? Why don’t we just fold our hands and cry over the horrible position we find ourselves in? Where to live is life for the sake of life and to die is nothing more or less than simply dying? Why should anyone care about anything if there is no meaning to anything anyway

As these thoughts ebb through the recesses of my consciousness I hope my jotting them down will strike a chord in your own mind and get you to ponder as well. I won’t attempt to persuade you of where I fall in this for I believe we are discussing matters if truth. And truth cares not for persuasion but stands upon its own and absolute. It is noteworthy however to observe the fact that I still continue to write this proves that I believe there to be meaning in what I write. But if there is meaning in something as trivial as this blog post then isn’t it safe to say that there is meaning in life? If so what is that meaning?

Think deeply friends for our existence dwells here and eternity hangs in the balance.

At Last

It happened without fanfare

No music drifted through the air

I realized without remark

Close on the heels of a weary heart

With bitterness fading away

I thought that I would be okay

Until what moved and took its place

Was the result of battles waged

Which till this moment I had won

Or at the least had held my own

But without crying, without tears

Without love, or borrowed fears

The one who always stood so strong

At last fell before the throng.

And final cognizant reflections 

Realize climactic sentences

Do not preceded the paeons cry

But merely follow his sad life

And I that troubled paeon be

For life at last has broken me.