I Am Alive

June 22nd 2020

Every time I fly I am reminded of the beauty and fragility of life. Held in an aluminum and steel capsule 30,000 feet above the ground propelling through the air at nearly 600 mph. Suddenly the cabin shakes violently from the turbulence. I look out the window and see lightning strike. It’s beautiful. It’s exhilarating and It’s terrifying.

But it reminds me once again… I’m alive.

One should never lose the overwhelming excitement such moments as these grant as the evidence of being alive. Too often we stifle our emotions into silent retreat. Afraid that allowing their exposition would lead to our individuality being ostracized.

Too many of us are guilty of allowing our psyche to fear more the potential rejection from closed minded individuals too weak to venture thoughtful consideration in favor of repeating the same concepts and narratives force fed through mass media unconsciously and thoughtlessly ingested on a daily basis, rather than allowing creativity, spontaneity, adventure, and excitement to be their own or even ours without disdain.

I strongly encourage the reader to become the writer. The thinker to become the doer. The witness to become the actor. The wishful to become the one desired. The one who bides his time planning endless conquests, grand schemes, and magnificent endeavors to cease his machinations and be doing. Stand up. Step forward. Reach out. Fight. Stop staring at screens as cheap replicas of that which you desire. Stop dreaming of becoming the man or the woman you want to be. But start today. Become today in your mind who you want to be. Who you are going to be both in the eyes of the world, in the eyes of yourself, and in the eyes of your God. And once you have solidified who that person is in your mind. There is no better time to translate your minds thoughts into actions than right now. It only takes one step to walk a mile, followed by another step. And then another one. Soon you will have walked a marathon, climbed a mountain, traversed the globe. But not a man in history has changed history by remaining glued to his bed, chained to his couch, remained so enslaved to the comforts of existence that he never expanded his horizons, never broadened his pallet, never put down the video game. And never set foot beyond the gateway of his own abode.

Stop doing what you hate to avoid achieving what you desire.

Read that again…

The choice is yours. The choice is mine.

Funny how this all started… in an airplane 30,000 feet above the ground hurtling nearly 600 mph like a projectile across the globe. It’s always in moments like these I’m reminded how beautiful and fragile this life is…

I always smile in these moments however. Because it is in them I am reminded…

I Am Alive.

Where It Left

If I could take back everything I said

Go back to who I was back then

Before I’d ever seen your face

Before you’d ever heard my name

– – – – –

I wouldn’t cause the truth is that

I’m still hoping you’ll come back

And find me where you saw me last.

Let love return to where it left.

– – – – –



Once again in proper place

I fold my cards and say your name

For of all love’s that I once knew

Yours was the only one so true.

– – – – –

I don’t regret how much I cared

I can’t forget the times we shared

But I’ve moved on for something new

But pray that love for you is sure.

– – – – –

As promised I will always be

Honest to the nth degree

Your heart which once you loaned to mine

Has been returned as treasured find

– – – – –

So as one who once loved you more

Than every other heart before

Allow my explanation stay

When heretofore you’d kept at bay

– – – – –

It’s true that at times I can be

Distant, cold– a heartless fiend

But for you I have always been

Your lover, brother, and your friend.

– – – – –

So for whatever your future holds

Know that I was once so bold

To offer love till we’d grown old

For what it’s worth– your heart of gold.


To the heart that for once held me more than close… here’s to you


Something More Than This

Tell a troubled soul your thoughts

Let love decide ultimate cost.

Offer hope when all is lost

But only if love holds what’s lost.

– – – – –

Do not venture into unknowns

Where hearts enflamed let passions grow

Save only if when trials show

Love holds to more than what was known.

– – – – –

Can you give something other than…

Lost desires or heartless kiss?

Can you grant still love’s last wish?

Give me something more than this.

Hold The Line

Once again we stand alone

Once again all hope has flown

And fled apace to stand her ground

Against the game of him who drowns.

– – – – –

Once again we find ourselves

Hoping against hope we’re found

Before the tide of hate grounds out

And all of what we had falls down

Once again we find ourselves.

– – – – –

But still we stand… Must stand alone.

Still we fight… fight on our own.

Broken, but still we’ll rebound

Return to face those former realms.

Trick of the Light

For what can hearts so broken deign

But leave behind what guilt remains

From thoughts that broken can’t reclaim

The light swift lost from choices made.

– – – – –

Your choice soon lost on minds enflamed

With passions borne from hearts engaged

You had not sought a future name

Hence why should one as I remain?

– – – – –

I ask as if rhetorical aims

Could quench the soul and feed the flame

That once brought life and love from shame

A champion in question’s games.

– – – – –

Ah ’tis again as I fear

My words have left a riddle here

You cannot solve what can’t be clear

So as before I’ll disappear.

Hell or High Water

It’s not exactly easy to write this post. The space upon my pages here has heretofore been reserved for what’s been lost. Hope is often unseen on the walls of this heart and alas I wish there was hope for the outcome of the source of this poem. Letting go is one of the hardest things in life to do… and even harder when one is so exigently hesitant to reach for something or someone that letting go becomes a task so arduous it nearly serves the one undertaking such a task with a fatal cost.

Nevertheless, it would be an injustice to fail to give proper place the heart that has caused both tremendous joy and exceptional pain. Here’s to you.



What words can cause a heart to bend?

Return to love of former days?

What action taken could be claimed

The one who’s stolen far away?

What choice was given him betrayed

Save only turn and walk away?

What purpose do you search for here?

What do you lack that can’t be shared?

For prayers to the One above

Have yielded but heartbroken love

And actions taken down below

Have turned to dust what once was gold.

This adieu is how we end

Forever and ever I fear my friend.

Was hell for sure or high water took

That heart from me held once so close.

But ah ’tis far too late I fear

For at last you’re no longer here.

Should life be fair and gentle share

A spark and light of hope appear

I’ll hold fast to those words once spoke

And wish for love that once we’d known

But till then I must move on down

Until as dust to dust the ground

Claims the broken heart burnt out.

When We Were Young

Yes, I know dear reader the reality of the ever poignant song by the phenomenal artist Adele to the same point as my title for today. But I must admit they I cannot simply gain that tune and continue on… no, I venture that ever more presently entering into the future the reality of how it was “back then” to “when we were young” becomes a more present idealistic dream of future potential. I fear I have not pondered much into what poem will yet appear before you after this short and perfunctory introduction. Nevertheless I hope that you would remember with me… When we were young. Yes, I am afraid that is all.

~ When We Were Young ~

Where did all of our time go?

I’ve often asked myself

Questioned of the future

What history would tell.

– – – – –

What chance betook our silent


What happened to the light?

Where in all the world did time

Flee to? Tell me why!

– – – – –

Speak the answers from the void

I dare, courage, be not coy

Offer hope above the noise

Beyond what thoughts and dreams employ

– – – – –

Ah yet still my fearful friend

You come again to offer ends.

Be gone from me. Yet speak your peace

Tell this soul what still you seek?

– – – – –

When we were young we cared not when

Or what occurred beyond the fence

Of love that held our lives in hand

Yet all that changed. This I can’t mend

– – – – –

Oh hold me not in scorned disdain

I fear no death. I fear no gain!

I trust still in a hope above

That God of love is God of all!

– – – – –

When we were young ”twas easy then

To tell you how I loved endless

But now we’re old the world has changed

We’ve loved. We’ve lost. We’ve all but claimed

– – – – –

A phantom future void of guilt

A fearful portion torn from will

For life holds meaning -less it’s full

That time is but a chain soon killed

– – – – –

By the death that frees from loss
All the hopes and dreams oft tossed
Out to waves of useless cost
Yet still we live… beyond the lost.

– – – – –

When we were young we asked not this

We dared not question truth or myth.

We lived in innocent benign

Regard for life and time.

– – – – –

But ah brutal reality

Has at last caught what once was free

Think well of what is yet undone

We’ll move on still

While we were young.